still lost in time Duminică, feb. 23 2014 

Away for almost a year but, oh hell … I can’t stay far from this. I started reading a book which really grew on me and made me come back here.

Frankly, I find it kind of difficult to write again but I liked reading me now, the young me, the old me, the new me and how much I have grown/changed this past years. All this is part of me. Somewhere deep is all, mixed, smashed, broken up in pieces … solid foundation my friends.

The main character made me do it. Most of the time I dwell as much as he does, and the rest of it, I just contemplate and see that I was right in standing by. Don’t get me wrong I acted, act and will act but, having my ass kicked, heartbroken not only once, disappointed by the ones I care about … has marked me and made me wait longer than usual.

Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m not but the sad part is when I am right about something, when my hunches are OK…and when this happens I go back to square one…start all over again.

Yeah I’m good at starting…but never at finishing. I’m a coward just like the character but, well …I have 200 pages to go, maybe he’ll come around.  Me, on the other hand I don’t know when and if …I think I like the torment and that’s why I put soul in everything even if I know from the start that I shouldn’t.

This makes me “me”, and this “me” has come back to lost in time 🙂

Reclame

Summer rain Luni, mai 27 2013 

Rain, storm, cool wind, darken room, me and Amy.

Perfect scene, isn’t it? That’s what I thought too. Never felt so relaxed, so full of calm … you know that feeling when you are smiling for no reason … and all around are asking, why are you smiling for? You answer for no reason and they still don’t believe…you start laughing …and they are accusing you of hiding something, not sharing.

I know I said I will write more but I don’t have the inspiration to pick a topic and just fantasize on it, the fact is that I’m also afraid to once again open the door and let my thoughts come out in this corner of my virtual mind.

Amy, Amy, Amy you’re too hard to ignore 😛

Don’t know why but she gets me every time, brightness all my mornings on my way to work, lifts my moral up, she’s my remedy for everything. Even for this rainy afternoon.

When everyone has other business to attend to, she keeps me company, makes me dream, and makes me forget … makes my day in other words.

You know Iuli, when I started writing I thought of explaining why I stopped writing but here you have only an essay for Amy’s music and the description of my room upon a rainy day.

I guess this is a goodbye for writing, more serious than before 🙂 . Last time I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, I was rude 😛

Probably looking back on my writings I seem off, sad, twisted, unpredictable … but no, I’m not like that, I’m strangely precise. Now I know that this is coming to an ending, a very long ending :P.

So my dears, and Iuli thank you for following me.

thoughts … Vineri, apr. 5 2013 

This is one of those days …when you just sit and think what you are doing wrong because you must be doing something …. You know it’s that feeling something is happening and well it’s not yet the time for you to find it out.

Maybe it’s the coffee I’m drinking, maybe the music, maybe the ….…or I developed another sense :)) because every time I get this feeling, something has happened.

This is how I’ve started writing the other days … but somehow got caught in doing something else and just left it on my desktop for a better moment. Not that now Is that better moment :)) but I’m in a chatty mood.

I wanted to talk about our weaknesses and well mine, of course.

People, yep, people! I get very attached to the ones surrounding me and get hurt easily if they act like asses 🙂 but I don’t show it though, I let them be and pick only the good parts thinking that they have a bad day and I’m the first person with whom they “cool down” .  For me to show I’m mad or hurt, it has to be something really serious and, when I do, I break all connection.

I’m a yes or no kind of person :P.

In my growing up I learned that most things can’t be fixed.

Yeah society is telling us that everything can be fixed, talked about but nope, not me, I don’t think so. If it doesn’t go ok the first time…it won’t be ok the second either. You can try and convince yourself that it’s going to be ok, but … neah 😛 You can be yourself, polite, nice, and son on but … if the other one doesn’t want to see this … it worthless.

I’m not a pessimist … I’m a realist; I tend to get the things just like they are.

But, enough with this! I opened the sheet for another reason.  The other days someone, a stranger to me, has managed to piss me off. I don’t pretend to be a classy lady or something like this, but I’m a woman and a woman has some characteristics.

The “lady” who managed to piss me off, had the nerve to expect that I should shake hands like a man … a firm grip she said …  pfff

Why in the hell should I shake hands like a man with another woman?! Am I insane??

I ignored her, clearly she had issues if she felt the need to specify this the first time she opened her mouth to say hello.

I’m getting mad just by remembering the scene 😛

baby steps :) Vineri, mart. 22 2013 

I’ve just finished reading my previous post from October. It all seems so far away, distant, and frankly I cannot remember what the problem was … well I can imagine … my everlasting one 😀

But something has clicked with the New Year, I feel good, and I see a purpose clearer than before… I enjoy what I have; I make fun of what I don’t like and so on.

I do not claim I have found the meaning of a nice life…but I’m on the right track.

Life is wonderful once you start enjoying what you have …

Anniversary Duminică, mart. 17 2013 

5 years ladies and gents of wordpress (that’s what the message says :D) … and, now counting, almost 5 months since I haven’t written a single word.

I’m thinking of coming back with my thoughts and nonsense.

🙂

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